Tink

'Tink' 

(translation... Think but in an Indian accent)

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Have you ever second guessed yourself? And then second guessed your second guessing?

Confusing I know.

It’s like you know what you want, then you wonder if what you want is what you really want. then you wonder why you wondered about wondering if you wanted it.

Makes sense in my mind.

Anywho, anywhat, anywhere. I’ve heard a saying before that said, “what's feeling without emotion” 

think about it.

Well you know.. or do you know? I mean I can’t really judge if you know or not right? I don’t know who you are or what you know and don’t know. But I can tell you what I know.

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New thought.

 I’m trying to figure out certain things I wondered about today, 

sometimes I wish we had cameras in our eye balls and notebooks in our minds. 

So I could take snapshots of things I see and write down things that I think about and then recall them later on.

 And I could do all of this without having to carry extra things around.

I don’t like carrying a purse around, it’s too much, and too girly? But all I need is money and keys right? (oh and maybe a phone)

"I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you 

with power through his spirit in your inner being, 

so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. 

And i pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 

may have power, together with all the saints, 

to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 

and to know this love that surpasses knowledge- 

that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."

Ephesians 3:16-19

Yellow

Ever sat somewhere and just wondered what to write? 

Yeah that's where I am right now.

Then I look around and find things to think about 
so eventually I'll have things to write about. 
I'm wearing socks, 
one yellow 
and one colorful stripes 
(I never match my socks) 
why? 
you ask... 
well why not?
 It puts more variety to my outfit 
and more hop to my step 
(or run, whichever i prefer doing at the moment)

Kind of like that phrase... 

lets take it and run with it? 

are we really going to run 

or are you just saying that 

because it sounds like we're in shape or something? 

So what I'm getting at is 
when I have nothing that's pulling at my brain, 
making those tiny electrons go crazy, -
I observe what's going on around me. 
Like my socks... 

or the fact that when i drove home from school last night there were like 30 kids in a burger king parking lot...

 almost every single one of them standing in one truck bed.... 

sounds like a party. 

I observe with my ears too.

Listening to songs, 

I heard one that told me the second hands are stealing from me. 

I believe it. 

Stealing time... 

precious time that can never be taken back. 

Those dirty second hands. 

That time is fleeting faster and faster 

and the harder I try to hold on to it.... 

the easier it is for those hands to snatch it from me.

                                                                                                                                                               

Post-it note quote 

"Bad news never had good timing"

                                                                                                                                                      

No matter how hard I try 

to think of things like socks and kids in trucks, 

everything goes back to that one topic, 

that topic happens to be a person. 

(who may or may not be reading these scrambled pixels on his computer screen right now)

I can't shake those second hands.... 

slowly stealing away the small amount of time I have left. 

There go all those electric pulses in my brain, firing away. 

Thinking too much again. 

That's enough of that.

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, 

the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 

who comforts us in all our troubles, 

so that we can comfort those in any trouble 

with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. 

For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, 

so also through Christ our comfort overflows. 

If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; 

if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, 

which produces in you patient endurance of the same suffering we suffer. 

And our hope for you is firm, 

because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, 

so also you share in our comfort." 

2 Corinthians 1:3-7

Underlined

"HE IS RISEN!"

It's a beautiful day outside, 
       so much for those thunderstorms those weathermen predicted. 

HA  

                                       Just shows how God controls the weather and today is the best day ever 
                                                             so why not have the sun shining and the sky blue as brilliant eyes 
                                                                                      (blue ones of course because brown wouldn't make much sense). 

Church today was awesome, 

well it's awesome every Sunday but it was extra awesome today.

 I wish that there were that many people at church every week 

because it was like one big party with singing and dancing and a wonderful happy vibe.

One of my favorite things is, when I'm listening to a sermon, and we talk about a verse and I think in my head wow i really like that verse... so I look it up. But that's not the best part (don't get ahead of me here!) When I find it and then realize I've already underlined the verse. and then I think hmmm "Thanks God, you're awesome at reminding me things and letting me know how much you love me"

The verse John 20:29

"Then Jesus told him, 'Because you have

seen me, you have believed; blessed are those

who have not seen and yet have believed.'"

I had the last part underlined. 

And I smiled.

H    A    P    P    Y        E    A    S    T    E    R    !

The Tragedy of Chemistry

"And maybe I'm too young to keep good love from going wrong but tonight you're on my mind, so you never know" -Sigor Rós

I guess I've just been thinking a lot. It's funny you know, how once you find someone that you're comfortable with and think about all the time, that things change. 

It's hard to put a finger on how exactly they change but of course it's easy to tell that they certainly do.

Have you ever just wanted to hear someone's voice? Or smell their 'smell' or even just watch everything they do because they fascinate you so much? 

Maybe it just feels RIGHT. What exactly is it that feels right? Their touch? How they make you laugh like no one else can? How you want to talk to them every waking second and when you try not to you still can't shake wanting to? How even when your sleeping you still see their face because they are in your dreams?

Funny, I can relate.

It's weird that there is no exact moment that all of this started to change, slowly? maybe, feels pretty sudden. 

And then you think, but even though I know it's going to end I'm going to try and invent this button... what is this button going to do? It's going to stop time. And if it can't stop time then it will take me to where ever i want to go whenever I push it (kind of like a slide I've heard of... it's turquoise and if this button doesn't work I'm going on a treasure hunt to find that slide) 

ANYWAY

Yet even though we know it won't be happily ever after... we keep going? why?  well I look at all of my post-it notes i have scattered colorfully all over my desk... and I find this quote 

"Playing it safe doesn't stop bad stuff from happening, 

So you might as well go for it."

Maybe that's why? all I know is that I'm going to hold tight to what I have until I can't hold on any longer.

"Be joyful always; pray continually;

give thanks in all circumstances, for this is 

God's will for you in Christ Jesus."

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Anguish

Today is Good Friday, a day that we remember the pain and suffering that took place

 in order for us to be set free from what entangles us from day to day.

I've become victim to it far too many times.

For a while now I've been pained (in my heart) 

with the thought that people I hold dear 

will not celebrate when we all have a party in Heaven. 

I don't know about you, but I'm a party person, 

and the more people that come the better the party gets.

I have such a heaviness in my heart that just won't go away.

It reminds me of the line in the song 'Hosanna' by Hillsong when they say,

"BREAK MY HEART FOR WHAT BREAKS YOURS"

 My heart is at it's breaking point for so many that I love.

Jesus knows what's up. He's been through it all.

He's the only one that can save us from the grip of death.

"Because he himself suffered when he was tempted, 

he is able to help those who are being tempted."

Hebrews 2:18

Void

Have you ever stared at a piece a paper, wanting so badly to write something worth while on it 

yet not knowing what exact words to pick or how to express the feelings you have in your heart? 

It's like that today, I have things that I want to say and yet I don't know how to put them in black and white. 

A picture is worth a thousand words right? Well I don't even know what picture to put to this feeling, if it's a feeling at all. 

Maybe a song could tell of these emotions, but then I'd want to write it myself and then we're right back to putting it all in black and white.

I like how some days we can feel super Goofy or really Sentimental. Today, I'd say it's a mixture of both with a touch of Cold in there somewhere. 

But I know I always have the 

JOY JOY JOY JOY

Down in my heart.

 "So with you: Now is your time of grief, 

but I will see you again and you will rejoice, 

and no one will take away your joy." 

John 16:22

Nebulous

Like a flower, we grow, little at first then we become nourished and become bigger and more beautiful with every minute of our lives. We mature and bloom with vibrant colors, and not one flower looks exactly the same. Then when it is our time to stop growing and be part of the earth again we wilt and wither and pass while leaving memories of our beauty behind. 


What flower are you? 
 "The Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them.
People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”
1 Samuel 16:7