Down

Have you ever felt like you are being ripped into pieces?
And no matter what you do it only gets worse.
You try your hardest to move through your day but you are constantly reminded of decisions you made.
And these decisions have been so painful.
Painful enough to make you never want to go home.
Move up north or out west. (people can visit right?)
And every song you listen to... it's like a dagger being stuck in your heart,
which then brings tears to your eyes.
But you keep telling yourself... "why are you crying?"
Get up, go do something, only to be reminded of what you just walked away from as soon as you get a spare moment to sit and think.

And yet I find comfort.

comfort in knowing that the Lord is in control of everything.

The more I get to know him, the more I love him, that's when i truly will be satisfied.

And it will be hard. But he carries me through it all.

Blesses me with more than I could ever imagine.

I have everything I could ever ask for, and i don't even deserve it.

"Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen"   -Ephesians 3:20-21

Air to breath,    legs that work,    an amazing family,    true friends,    a comfortable bed,    food to eat,    eyes that see,    ears that hear,    fingers that wiggle.... 

and yet I am selfish and I do not thank Him enough.

I want what I want and when I don't get it, I take it anyway... and then it hurts not only me but others.




Pain that could have been avoided... but wasn't.